Posts Tagged ‘Farm Family’

The Art of Possibility

Monday, January 3rd, 2011

Eight short years ago I curtailed my social life and hit the books to study conflict resolution and become a certified coach. I focused on caring for my farm family, read tons of great books, travelled to Winnipeg and Santa Barbara California to be a part of two really great learning communities. I am glad I made the choice, and I am thankful that  the investment of time, money and energy has paid off.

Women who thrive are life-long learners. They never tire of trying out new things or finding creative ways to solve lingering hassles. They enjoy talking through their problems with trusted friends in the sacred space of a “visit, online chat, or phone call.” They are risk takers and “inner-directed”.

Sometimes when the cashier at Co-op is piling my groceries she asks , “Where have you been lately ? I haven’t seen you for awhile. “ I  tell her of my travels to speak to a group in BC or tape the AgVision TV show in London, Ontario. The non-farmers in the store stop me to share their feedback on seeing me on CTV. These travels and opportunities have blossomed since I  took my certification for coaching and conflict resolution. I was given the chance to do television after writing a book, and doing a decade of 18 annual columns for a prairie farm paper. Words are powerful, with lasting impact, and I am thankful for my high school taskmaster English teacher  and the encouragement of my chemistry teacher, Gopalkrisha (Gopie) .

“Elaine has a very good head for a girl, she should be able to enter the man’s world in any field, and stay at the top.” Gopie, (l974, Springfield High School report card.) Continue reading The Art of Possibility »

Leaving a Lasting Legacy

Friday, December 31st, 2010

Today I baked the “Ultimate Fruitcake” in memory of my youngest sister Grace, who was killed by a drunk driver, 21 years ago today. This yearly ritual of baking her favourite fruitcake fills my home with wonderful scents, and helps me to recall the short life of a dearly loved sister. Last night a long time family friend, Jane, called to say she was thinking of me, and Grace, and my mom, Lois.  Jane recalled  that my mom’s laughter  was so loud that it rolled across a room, and then the tears of joy  usually followed. Jane was the one who sat through the night while my mom lay dying in palliative care. It was sweet to visit over the phone, and reflect on the lives of loved ones.

Soon  I’ll be doing a roadshow with an accounting firm to talk about the “Death of a farmer”. Bet that title just makes you want to jump in a car and come ! My portion is to talk about leaving a lasting legacy, the final wishes, how you would like to be remembered, what to do with sentimental possessions, and the family issues around money and land. (And they only gave me an hour !)

I love talking about this stuff. I’m not so good about organizing all the documents that I want to have put into place, but I have started.

I want you to start, too, : to leave a manual for your loved ones of your important documents, wishes, funeral plans, advisors, plumber etc.  Make a  “life “ binder that someone could grab if your home was flooding, a loved one suddenly dies, with  everything all organized.

I have resources from the internet that will help get you started: Continue reading Leaving a Lasting Legacy »

Why should I be a better listener – Part Two

Tuesday, June 15th, 2010

What if I showed you a free tool that you could implement today that would have the potential to make your farm 21% more profitable, without spending a dime ?

What is it?

It’s listening.  After you have asked  “What’s the most important thing to talk about?”

continue to listen, and use more open-ended questions.

Open ended questions that don’t require a simple yes or no answer will start the tsunami of ideas flowing your way. If your son is an “idea” style communicator, he needs lots of uninterrupted time to explain his great production idea to you, and talk about the potential to diversify your farm operation. Don’t interrupt. Let him go on all the tangents he needs to and look him in the eye. Nod in affirmation that you are truly listening, and try not to cross your arms in disgust or with impatience. Do you actually remember what it felt like to have dreams, be invincible, and feel like nothing could stop you ? Continue reading Why should I be a better listener – Part Two »

The Daughter In-law Barrier

Thursday, June 3rd, 2010

Sometimes a short conversation lights a huge fire of controversy, and this blog may create a few sparks, so please read carefully, all the way to the end.

A farm family with a very strong-willed daughter-in-law asks their business planner how to make progress with decision making since the “in-law” seems to have an opinion about every farm business decision made. The planner advised the farm team to consider farm business and shareholder decisions as their “territory” making it clear that the spouse, ie. Daughter in law was not part of that decision group.

What would you advise for conflict resolution?

Everyone has an opinion, so let’s dig deeper and figure out what a daughter in law needs: Continue reading The Daughter In-law Barrier »

Counseling is about recovery

Monday, February 8th, 2010

I was depressed once—with a capital “D”—and I never want to be that sick again. I got professional help, and I’m thankful I did. Continue reading Counseling is about recovery »