Posts Tagged ‘farm family discussions’

Saying Goodbye to the Home Farm

Tuesday, June 15th, 2010

Climbing a large rock pile and checking the chicken coop are two fond memories of my childhood playtimes in Grandma’s farm yard. Farm families have a hard time saying goodbye to the memories held with the “home place”. Letting brother take over the yard, or selling out evoke tears, and a deep sense of loss in some folks.

The loss is about the change of ownership and control that begs the question “where are my roots now? Where is my sense of place?” The sadness comes with a loss of connection to your family of origin and wondering if the new owners will respect your need to visit now and again.

In our farming culture, we have rituals like auctions sales, fall suppers, and fairs to mark certain seasons or events. I think it is time to create some traditions that work for families to mark transition and change in moving from the home place, with positive actions. I’ll call it talk, walk, and mark. Continue reading Saying Goodbye to the Home Farm »

What does money mean to you?

Monday, February 15th, 2010

We were sitting in convention workshop under the direction of Bruce Sellery, the founder of Moolala, when he asked the question, “What does money mean to you?” He expected us to answer. I said, “adventure and giving”. Another woman said “freedom”. I would be curious to hear your answer. Our values and attitudes towards money deeply affect how we pay attention to handling it well, or not, and getting what we hope for. Sellery says he has met many “smart capable people who are doing dumb things with money.” Continue reading What does money mean to you? »

Don’t split the farm yard

Monday, January 25th, 2010

If you’ve got a son or daughter ready to take over the farm, let them move into the farm house—if they want to—and you can move out

As a mediator, I’ve seen some pretty dumb agreements about the home yard. When you are deciding to move away, or build a second home on the property, make sure you think things through with your lawyer and have some clear conversations with your successor. Continue reading Don’t split the farm yard »

8 Ps your daughter-in-law needs

Wednesday, December 16th, 2009

Sometimes a short conversation lights a huge fire of controversy, and this column may create a few sparks, so please read carefully all the way to the end. Continue reading 8 Ps your daughter-in-law needs »