Farm Succession

What do we owe our kids?

Tuesday, June 15th, 2010

One of the toughest things to talk about is “how do we treat our children with our assets?” I’ve added some of my farm family coaching experiences to  Donna Hasting’s (former family living specialist ) tips:

1.In theory you don’t owe your children anything. You gave them life, education, love your values and your vision. It’s amazing what young adults will tell their parents about this when they are asked directly. I have heard the children say, “Dad and Mom, please enjoy yourself for once, enjoy what you’ve worked for all your life. I don’t expect any money from you now!” Continue reading What do we owe our kids? »

Saying Goodbye to the Home Farm

Tuesday, June 15th, 2010

Climbing a large rock pile and checking the chicken coop are two fond memories of my childhood playtimes in Grandma’s farm yard. Farm families have a hard time saying goodbye to the memories held with the “home place”. Letting brother take over the yard, or selling out evoke tears, and a deep sense of loss in some folks.

The loss is about the change of ownership and control that begs the question “where are my roots now? Where is my sense of place?” The sadness comes with a loss of connection to your family of origin and wondering if the new owners will respect your need to visit now and again.

In our farming culture, we have rituals like auctions sales, fall suppers, and fairs to mark certain seasons or events. I think it is time to create some traditions that work for families to mark transition and change in moving from the home place, with positive actions. I’ll call it talk, walk, and mark. Continue reading Saying Goodbye to the Home Farm »

How do we treat the girls?

Tuesday, June 15th, 2010

“We all knew the farm would go to the boys. We were born in the ‘30’s and everyone expected Dad and Mom to roll it over to their sons. We were given educations, no land.”

“We wondered why my sister and I were not part of the family discussion about who would have the home place. It really hurt. Dad couldn’t understand why I was crying when we talked about it later.”

“The girls in our family all married well. I guess our parents felt we were well taken care of. My brothers got all the dairy quota and the farm. We girls got $10,000. I’m not sure my lawyer today would think that was fair!”

“Out here in dry land Saskatchewan we  wonder if we’re lucky we got cash and we are not stuck with the risk of the farm !” Continue reading How do we treat the girls? »

The Gift of Contentment

Tuesday, June 15th, 2010

My late mother-in-law came to this country as a young toddler, with parents , siblings and a suitcase. She lived her life with a thankful heart, content to share what she has with others in need.,… her health, her wealth , her wisdom and her cookies! “When you have enough, the basics, it is good to be content.,” is the gist of what Mom Froese believed.

I asked a few other farmers  about what they would say about contentment. One fellow had tears well up as he awaits the surgeon’s report. Others just shrugged their shoulders and said “it’s been a tough year…50 years of work is now in jeopardy.”

Circumstances may be critical, yet God is still in control. Is this a key to being content now matter what life crisis tries to crush you ? Continue reading The Gift of Contentment »

The Daughter In-law Barrier

Thursday, June 3rd, 2010

Sometimes a short conversation lights a huge fire of controversy, and this blog may create a few sparks, so please read carefully, all the way to the end.

A farm family with a very strong-willed daughter-in-law asks their business planner how to make progress with decision making since the “in-law” seems to have an opinion about every farm business decision made. The planner advised the farm team to consider farm business and shareholder decisions as their “territory” making it clear that the spouse, ie. Daughter in law was not part of that decision group.

What would you advise for conflict resolution?

Everyone has an opinion, so let’s dig deeper and figure out what a daughter in law needs: Continue reading The Daughter In-law Barrier »