Where there is a will there’s a way

Farmers — and columnists — deal with deadlines all the time. But are you prepared for your final deadline?

“Make sure the machinery is all ready to go for seeding by April 20,” quips a well-organized farmer to his trainee son. This benchmark date has served this farm well as a goal to get equipment all in place for smoother seeding. Deadlines help me get this column written in time, even if it happens on my laptop in the passenger side of our vehicle on road trips!

Today I want to propose a very serious deadline for ALL readers. This deadline deals with death — your death. I want you to call your lawyer by Friday of this week, and make an appointment to update or create your will. Even if you are single, make a will!

Why? A will is a document of your intentions and wishes of how you want your estate handled in the event of your death. When there is a will, there is a way to effectively deal with your estate and your intentions. With no will there is chaos, too much tax, and deep family hurt.

“I can do it later,” just won’t cut it with me. I sat in a circle of young parents and asked how many were “will-less.” Answer: the majority of them. So I gave them my “you need a will” speech. Since that summer meeting only one young mom has told me that she has acted, and decided on guardians for children and signed a valid will in a law office.

“Who will care for the children?” is likely a pretty big stumbling block, but get over it. Start some courageous conversations and take action for the well-being of the family you love. Not having a will is very unloving.

“Our will is 20 years old,” is another scary reality for many farm couples. When there is conflict over how the non-farming children will be treated, things just slide, and no new wills are ever created. Not making a decision to change or update your will is still a decision. You’ve just decided not to act.

Many farm families are getting their expensive equipment ready to plant a very promising crop. How about getting your affairs in order to fulfill the very promises you have made to your spouse and heirs?

Your deadline is next Friday.

I am wearied with sad stories of estates that have gone awry. I personally update my will every three years or when there is a significant change in our financial or family dynamics.

I would suggest that you forgo those two large takeout pizzas for $48, and use the cash for your lawyer’s fees. The cost of not having a legal, updated will could be about “half the farm,” if an outdated beneficiary benefits at the expense of the people who are currently creating the wealth on your farm. You’re sure to get your income taxes in order by April 30, so why not get a deadline on updating your will?

I am not a lawyer. I am a farm family business coach who mediates estate conflicts, and sits in succession planning meetings with anxious families. Write me a note to tell me that you have acted, and updated your will. I’ll put your name in a draw and give the first three winners a copy of my book. My email is elaine@elainefroese.com. My address is Box 957 Boissevain, MB, R0K 0E0.

While you are talking about your will, ask your lawyer about enduring power of attorney and health care directives. You don’t want your tractor seizing up and dying on the way to plant that bumper crop. Why don’t you want your family to know what your will says to ensure that family communication and expectations for their futures are planned for? This gives all family business members the gift of certainty for their futures. It is impossible to share the contents of a will when the will does not exist!

Don’t think you can just scribble your wishes on the back of a scrap piece of paper. You deserve better than that, as handwritten wills cause impossible hassles.

Call the law office, make the appointment, and draft your will.

Sign it, and enjoy the seeding season knowing that you have met your most important deadline…the eventually of planning for your descendents upon your death.
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Elaine Froese creates safe spaces for farm family businesses to have courageous conversations. She wants readers to act! Elaine’s award winning book “Planting the Seed of Hope” would be an awesome Mother’s Day gift. Elaine Froese is a certified coach, and member of the Canadian Association of Farm advisors www.cafanet.com.

Farmers Need Forgiveness

“I know I need to forgive my in-laws for the way things have gone on our farm. It is just hard to let go of the anger and resentment for the way we’ve been treated.” Her words are steady and sure. She’s been thinking of how she can let go of her ill feelings to be able to enjoy her farming future.

The Bible says “Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.”(Colossians 3:13 NIV)

Easter shows us the way to let go of hurt and enjoy the freedom of living forgiven. Jesus Christ is the ultimate sacrifice to make us right with God, when we accept His death on the cross as an act of “making us right before God” Christ rose from the dead and conquered death. He loves us unconditionally. Our acceptance of His gift of dying for our sins sets us on a new path of freedom and total forgiveness for all the wrongs we commit. Because Christ forgave us, we can forgive others.

Some farmers don’t want me to talk about Jesus. They want to try and work out things on their own without “spiritual stuff”. Unfortunately I can’t facilitate “fake forgiveness” when there is no model that helps the family truly forgive and move on with their farm’s future.

Forgiveness is a conscious act of the will to let go of the offense. For the distressed farm woman it means not dwelling on the past hurt, but releasing the offender’s actions and saying “I choose to forgive you, and move on”. It doesn’t mean that she will totally forget the wrongdoing, but it does mean she will not dwell on it, nor let it consume her thoughts.

“Your forgiveness can be a catalyst for others to forgive themselves. You become happier and therefore a better team player [on your farm]. Your compassion improves the quality of your interactions. Demonstrating forgiveness and self-forgiveness gives others permission to make mistakes, to be relaxed and authentic rather than fearful and defensive” according to Mariah Burton Nelson author of The Unburdened Heart.

How do you learn to forgive? Read your Bible, starting with John. Go to www.biblegateway.com and do a word search on the word “forgive.” You’ll find 116 verses about forgiveness! Write out those scriptures on post-it notes and stick them on your computer and bathroom mirror. Seek the counsel of your pastor or spiritual director. Some farm families invite their minister to come to a family meeting for the express purpose of prayer and witnessing a forgiveness ritual by the family. This is a courageous act of using the meeting as the “marker” for the day when the family chooses to forgive and move on with a new freedom.

What is stopping you from forgiving those on your farm team who frustrate you? The person who “lets go” and forgives, is the one with the ability to make positive choices and not be weighed down by guilt and ill feelings. Those who keep “short accounts of wrongs done” are the holders of the largest emotional bank accounts. Their sense of well being gives them huge resilience to the bumps of farm stress we all are bound to face.

Spring holds the promise of new life and amazing birth. Forgiveness modeled after the way Jesus forgives us holds new life and energy for an amazing freedom to enjoy peace.

Let today be the day you search out what the Bible really says about forgiveness. Let today be the “defining moment” of letting go a deep farm related hurt. Let this Easter be your celebration of accepting Jesus’ deep love for you, so that you can be forgiven and free.
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Elaine Froese speaks to farm audiences across Canada and the U.S. Her award-winning book Planting the Seed of Hope addresses the need for families to celebrate throughout the year. She farms in southwestern Manitoba and coaches families to talk about tough transition issues.

Lifestyle Income Needs After Farming

What is a reasonable amount of income for lifestyle needs after you’ve left the farm and “moved to town”? I have seen huge family debates over the issue of how much money the farm can afford to pay for the founders when they leave the operation.

I define lifestyle needs as the amount of money you need to live on to cover all your family living expenses. This includes travel, vehicles, hydro, phone, and all the other perks that the farm account may have paid for in the past, but will not cover when you have moved to town or changed your management/ownership role.

How much is enough is a really personal question.

Dr. David Kohl’s rule is a range of $40-70K for a living allowance, based on what the farm can afford. Nebraska research from Dave Goeller suggests the average family farm in his state seeks $60,000. In Quebec, CA Mario Dumas uses a figure of $45,500 as a typical income stream planning figure.

Whatever the number you have in your head, you owe it to everyone in the transition process to have a realistic number the farm can plan for. I suggest you take a computer program like Quickbooks or whatever Ag software you have to keep very close track of all personal living expenses for a year. I have done this for 25 years, and know exactly what our family spends on family living. You also have to be clear about what your list doesn’t include. Ask your bank or credit union for living expense forms to get you started.

Many farm dads want an active role on the farm for as long as they are able. Even if they move, they still would like a pick-up truck to drive to the farm, and I think, preserve their identity as a farmer. “Am I still a farmer if I can use purple diesel in my truck?”

Experts recommend that the older generation have at least 50% of their retirement income from OUTSIDE investments, non-farm related income. This is where I see a great need for the use of financial planners for all ages to make sure you are aware of investment opportunities and your lifestyle needs. If you are a young farm family, get a financial planner soon, so that you’ll have non-farm income streams later on.

Dr. Kohl says it is “critical to share the farm books, as everyone in the business team needs to know the income stream potential of the farm or ranch.” I also recommend clients to sign up for the Canadian Farm Business Advisory Service (CFBAS) consultation that will give you an excellent financial snapshot to use as a foundation for planning. The CFBAS program will cost you $100. This program was rumored to be changing at the end of March, so call today at 1-866-452-5558 to see if you can get some number crunching consulting done.

What will be the trigger event that will motivate your family to do the work of keeping track of lifestyle income needs? Some farm women can earn a great wage off the farm, but they are tired, and want the farm to make the money so they can focus their energy at home and on the farm. Heart attacks and cancer are not the best triggers for making sound financial plans, so I urge you to understand your family living expenses, and know what you need.

“People have to live until they die. In the preservation (retirement stage) you have to manage the unmanageable” says Dr. David Kohl. I agree. We spend a lot of time on making a living, and planning for the estate, but don’t forget to plan well for the two decades or more you will live when you move to town, and leave the main management of the farm.

Consider this saying “He is rich who needs the least.” Now make that call to find a financial advisor for your lifestyle needs.
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Elaine Froese is a certified farm family business coach and amazing speaker who facilitates courageous conversations with families in transition. Ask her those nagging farm succession questions.

Make the Nurture Call

A 15-minute phone call to show your appreciation is a priceless Valentine’s gift.

It was a dark and not so stormy night in January when I picked up my phone to call North Carolina. I hadn’t talked to my coaching buddy Peggy for ages. I giggled with delight to discover she’d married, been promoted, and is dancing up a storm of happiness. I then called my maid of honour, a lifetime friend who really cares where I am on the map, personally and literally! We affirmed our need for pacing after 50. The next call nailed the title of this column. “Miss Wendy,” a lifelong friend, commented how conversations with women really “nurture” her.

It’s heart month. How is your heart connection to your loved ones? Rather than stressing over things to buy, give the gift of time – as in 15 minutes or more of heartfelt conversation. Pick up the phone and make the call.

Resilient healthy farm families are connected to others. “But Elaine, we haven’t spoken a word in months.” “I don’t want to interfere, they have a busy life.” “I would rather see them face to face.” Bury the excuses in the backyard. One of the symptoms of strong families is the ability to communicate. I know father and son partnerships that rely on their cell phones throughout the day to keep on top of the many decisions farmers make. Sad thing is, those same guys aren’t pleased to see their wives chatting on the phone to girlfriends. Women and men both need to feel loved and connected to others outside of the family.

A family recently lost their farm home to a fire that consumed everything.
Their cell phone and the gracious support of the community have shown them how to really count their blessings. The phone rings with offers of resources, and the affirmation of a caring friendship in good times and in bad.

Some of my coaching clients have been surprised to discover that their style of talking is hard for the other farm team members to relate to. Knowing that you need the facts, or need to know about personal things before getting down to business, helps people assess new ways to talk things out.

If appreciation truly is the number one stumbling block for families to keep moving their business plans forward, make your nurture call one of appreciation to your parents, siblings or your children. “Dad, I just called to say how thankful I am for all the work you have contributed to my well-being. Happy Valentine’s Day.” “Doll, it is wonderful to have a daughter like you who remembers the little details that help make my day go smoother. Thanks for doing those books.” “Sis, I know it’s been tough for you to feel you are outside the inner circle of what’s going on at this farm, but hang in there, we want you to feel part of this farm, too.”

Picking up the phone and making the call to nurture your relationships takes courage when the connection has been rocky of late. Take delight in discovering the news of friends that you haven’t heard from in a long while. Weight Watchers will love you cause phone calls are a lot less fattening than chocolates! Your budget won’t be stressed with “retail therapy” receipts if you choose to use your long-distance plans to your advantage.

My theme for 2008 is “delight.” I want to enjoy the gift of today, and connect strongly to the people I listen to. I want to notice the joys of other people’s journeys, and not just dwell on the tough things. Psalm 37:4 says, “Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart.”

I met a young salesman today who has just come through a divorce. He says he has grown up and learned a lot about himself in the process. He now chooses to stay “more in the moment.” Taking a moment to be with another in conversation will nurture your soul. It might be the reward you need after a long night of calving or a day of sorting paperwork. Save the stamp, and use the 52 cents for a heartfelt conversation across the miles. That nurture call may keep you going for the next three months. Savor it!
Make every day Valentine’s day.
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Elaine Froese, certified coach, coaches families to have courageous conversations. She is passionate about building relational capital.

No Talk, No Plan, No Succession

5.6 per cent of farmers want to exit the business in 10 years, but only a few have a formal succession plan.

If there are 50,000 families reading Grainews, then I wonder if 34 per cent of those readers have succession planning as a high priority concern. That would be 17,000 farm families. According to the Canadian Federation of Independent Business June 2007 farm member’s opinion survey, 34 per cent of respondents called “succession” a high priority issue.

This same study also found that 27 per cent want to exit the agri-business in the next five years, and another 29 per cent want to say goodbye in 10 years. That’s over half who are thinking about transitioning out of their farm or agri-business. Of these folks on the five-year exit plan, over half do not yet have a successor.

No successor, no talk, no plan.

Do you have someone to take over the management, labour and ownership of your farm? That’s what succession is. Usually with bad backs, Dad lets go of the labour first, then the management, and lastly the ownership piece.

If you have someone getting ready to become manager and owner, then you are likely talking. In the CFIB study, 52 per cent of the respondents had no plan, and 38 per cent had just an informal one. (I think this informal plan is likely in the owner’s brain). Why are so few farmers making formal plans?

Here are some excuses

1. Timing. Many say it is too early to start planning. They will keep saying this until it’s too late. As one very blunt chicken farmer told me, “We are not 20 years old anymore!!!”
2. No time to deal with the issue. Death and taxes are inevitable. I think you smart managers spend some time planning your wills, estate and tax liability coverage strategies. When does transition and succession planning hit the top of the “to do list”?
3. Can’t find adequate advice/tools to start. We always find the time and resources for what is truly important to us. Start at www.cafanet.com to find a list of advisors in your area. Talk to your farm friends who have already done succession well. Go to www.farmcentre.com and explore the resources and archives. Spend $29 for a copy of Managing the Multigenerational Farm. At the farmcentre.com site, watch me on “When letting go is hard” in the agri-webinar archives. Watch Agvision TV on Sunday afternoons or on the Internet at www.agvisiontv.com and sign up for the newsletters at www.topmanagers.ca. Buy a copy of Dr. John Fast’s new book, The Family Business Doctor. There are piles of resources and tools, just a click or a call away.
4. Too complex. You have to plan to live and not just plan to die. What does the space between age 62 and 82 look like to you? Dream a little. Saying the process is too complex is a judgment. Come from curiosity and invite the family over for a circle meeting to start talking about expectations of roles and lifestyle needs. Hire a facilitator or coach to keep the meeting process on track and safe. File your papers in a handy binder with tabs for each key advisor: legal, tax, lifestyle, etc.
5. Don’t want to think about leaving. Ah yes, letting go is hard. So if you don’t think about it, it will not happen. This thought blocking is not a great way to have family harmony and business success. Think about what would make leaving worthwhile. What does a great day on the farm look like to you? Maybe you don’t have to physically leave, you just need to change lanes and have a new role. Maybe you need to take some time to test out new business ideas. The CFIB study found many founders where planning to leave and start another new business!
6. Conflict with family/employees. Family and workers may be one in the same. Conflict is a normal part of life. Avoiding conflict is death. Taking on some new skills to manage conflict is a smart business risk management strategy.

How are you sleeping?

One of the gaps in the CFIB study was the unanswered question: “What are the factors that motivate small and medium sized enterprise owners to plan for succession?” That’s a question I would like your feedback on for future articles. You can go to www.elainefroese.com and click on the askelainefroese.com link to send me your answer.

My guess is that each person has his or her own reason or motivation for change. Fear is one, but fear is not a great motivator as it tends to have negative implications. But if you can embrace your fear and do the planning anyway, you have begun the journey of 1,000 succession steps by taking the first step. Anger is fear’s cousin. Are you hurt, afraid or just plain frustrated?

Stress relief is another motivator. I like to get a good night’s sleep. And I sleep better when I’m not stressed. My motivation for action is to decrease my stress and have things taken care of. I will use the outside advice of professionals, and I communicate with the rest of the farm team. How are you sleeping?

Are you talking?

Building relational capital is the key to family harmony and a profitable farm business. One of David Kohl’s Virginia Tech graduate students studied 400 farms across six states, and found that the farm teams that had great communication — they talked with each other — were 21 per cent more profitable than the teams that didn’t have a great way to share visions, intent and goals.

You may now be motivated to take the bull by the horns and make the calls to the advisors you trust to start the succession process. A family is like a mobile, and if you start to change, then you are going to shake the rest of the clan’s balance…and the chaos will be okay if everyone works hard to communicate their true values and beliefs.

In the end, you will take joy in seeing your adult children having certainty about their future. This is another motivator. For one family, they decided not to pass along the farm, but to sell it. They had other income streams, and the adult children could use the money from their “pre-inheritance”. The parents were delighted to be alive and hear the thanks, and see the results of the wealth they had generated. The farming son paid mortgages to his sisters.

The great motivator

Some people have no intention — or at least, no motivation — to put plans in place before they leave this earth. And because these people are not doing any planning, the kids get frustrated. A day will come when the farming adult children wake up and say “that’s enough. Something changes here, or we are gone.” I hear these stories often. Ultimatums are not great tools for planning with a spirit of generosity and flexibility. Tough love is the last resort. Face your mortality, have conversations, and make plans. Save taxes. Build relational capital. That’s the legacy you really want.
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Elaine Froese is a catalyst for courageous conversations with farm families in transition. She speaks across Canada and the US to give practical tools for talking about tough issues. She’ll be celebrating Thanksgiving with her family at the farm near Boissevain.