Why I Love My Church Family

“Sometimes I just wish my family would show me some respect, and appreciate what I do around here”. Under the shadow of a picture of Jesus at the Last Supper, a weary farmer shares his deep frustration within a complex family business. I ask him about the love and care he has outside of his folks. …No response.

I wonder if his friends have stopped calling, and am curious if he is planning to go to church this Easter. He had mentioned that he likes to help out the church camp with their hay and horses in summer.

Do you know what the “Last Supper” is ? It’s the time Jesus, the Son of God, served his disciples bread and wine in order for them to remember Him. At Easter, people who are Jesus followers celebrate the resurrection of Christ . He was killed on a cross, shed blood to take the place of our sins to make us right in the eyes of God. He broke the bonds of death by rising from the dead, the day in which we celebrate Easter.

This year I am celebrating my 27th Easter with my church family. I have a wonderful group of people who are brothers and sisters in Christ who care for me and love me deeply in a myriad of ways. I thought it was time to reflect on all the ways they care for me, because I am respected, and I don’t take my church family support for granted.

If this is the year for you to cross the threshold of the local church doors for the Easter Sunday service, here’s some benefits of being there all year round:

LOVE …Unconditional support . My Dad and my siblings live far away. My church family greets me with a smile, hugs me, and asks me how I doing…and means it. Their creative notes in the church mailbox are gifts of love throughout the seasons. Their words of appreciation are like salve for a deep wound of loneliness after time away on the road.

FAITHFULNESS….Prayer in good times and in bad. We have prayer pals who pray for us on a regular basis. Prayer is adoration, confession, thanksgiving and making request of a loving God and Saviour. How good would your spirit feel knowing the comfort and consistency of someone going before God on your behalf?

SERVANT HEARTS…Willing to go the extra mile. Our church family has built houses together, combined the Foodgrains Bank quarter with 20 machines, and pooled resources to help many families in distress. The heart is renewed with hope when it serves someone else in love. Teens at our church serve the seniors, travel to Mexico, and meet regularly to grow stronger. Their hearts are a wonderful encouragement to the parents.

JOY…Laughter is a healing balm to the soul. We experience joy when we share answered prayers as part of our church family news in the service on Sunday mornings. We weep when we listen to the hospital trials that have brought miraculous healing to a women in deep physical pain, who has been released. We celebrate milestone birthdays with tea parties, potlucks, silly gifts, and tons laughter. Joy is here.

PATIENCE…Growth…learning, stretching. The bumper sticker reads “Be patient with me, God isn’t finished with me yet.” We are not perfect, but we are growing, and forgiving one another when we offend, hurt, and just don’t get it. Churches aren’t buildings, they are groups of growing people who practice forgiveness and grace in their lives, because they are a redeemed and thankful group of people.

GENTLENESS… Deep care. A group of women meeting to study the gifts of being a woman spent time to write a note of encouragement to every woman at the table. This note is priceless. It’s a gentle reminder of the deep love and care for one another. This church family attends several different buildings on Sunday mornings, but it doesn’t matter. They all sense a deep thread of concern and care from their sisters in the Lord.

KINDNESS…Loving connection.. God is particularly concerned about the care of the poor, widows, and children. Our church family provides weekly fun and study for young children, teens, and people seeking to grow closer to Jesus. My love language is meaningful touch, and a hug or a squeeze on my shoulder keeps me going . The teens are given a senior’s hand of congratulations for their musical gifts .Those people suffering loss are enveloped in strong arms of loving attention.

CELEBRATION…Singing from my soul is part of my heritage of singing in vesper services as a Canadian Girl in Training, campfires, and college retreats. This week I sang Psalms at the top of my lungs in a motel swimming pool with great ecoustics. It was one of those sacred moments of praising God in deep water, resounding joy as the notes bounced in a cathedral toned space. Easter is the highest celebration of the Christian’s year, and we invite you to join us with thankfulness for the hope of heaven that Easter brings.

PEACE… Safe place to be real, just who you are. When I share stories in front of my church family I usually end up crying. The passion and pain I witness during the week sometimes overwhelms me, and my church family understands. They pray for me, they hug me, and they encourage me to use the gifts God had given me to share with others. My pastor is an awesome leader, and a friend.

I love my church family, and I hope you’ll find one to love you this Easter Come and see that God is good. “…Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another.” (John 13:34,35. NIV)

I’ll be watching for you.

____________________________________________________________

Elaine Froese is a Christian catalyst for change. She encourages farm families with her speaking, retreats, CD’s and book.

10 Things Young Farmers Want…

At the airport last month I grabbed a copy of “Fast Company” one of my favourite business magazines. The article that caught my eye was describing “Millenials” those people in the workforce who were born after 1978. There were several insights about what made millenials tick, so I extrapolated what these young adults might want to see happen on the farm. I also had the privilege of meeting an energetic group of the Alberta Young Farmers’ forum, people who are young, and positive about their future in agriculture.

Here’s a list of what a young farmer might like to tell us older folks:

Millenials are:

Wanting to be heard…they have ideas and opinions. Respect the need of the younger generation to feel that they have many things to contribute to the operation. If ideas have been well-researched, give time and thought to incorporating that discussion in your farm business meeting. You are having regular farm business meetings aren’t you? (Check out www.elainefroese.com/articles to find “Meeting to Make Things Happen”.)

Wanting a chance: “Elaine, I would give anything to be on the farm, but my parents sold ours.” How about adopting this young aspiring – farmer as your son? A dairy farm couple in Saskatchewan has given the chance to farm their operation to a young man who lives in town, across the road. Another dairy farmer in Eastern Manitoba has a 10 year written employment agreement with a young lad who started on the farm at fifteen and now owns quota, land, and the house his employer keeps the mortgage on. What a chance!

A bachelor uncle is giving his nephew guidance and leverage opportunities to leave a farm business legacy to the younger generation. A fruit-grower in BC. gives homeless people dignity and respect by training them to work in his orchard, and live in a camper. Comb the high school hallways for young folks who love to weld and fix, and don’t want to depart to the big city.

Wanting to use their head more than their back. Millenials are the kids who have grown up “wired”. They have no fear of technology, and just keep pressing buttons until they figure things out. Their “techie” skills come in handy for setting the grain monitors, auto-steer and helping figure out the GPS

As they have no problem using the ag software, the blackberry or the palm pilot to track records; you should train them to do the books and tracking. This means letting go of some power and control, and seeing the opportunity for a really well-trained business planning team.. They’ll design your new website, and maybe even get you blogging !

Wanting a life… “Money is highly over-rated” quipped one young farm son who plans to seek outside interests and fun off the farm. Millenials want quality of life at age 30, and will not be workaholics like their grandparents or parents. They reject a lifestyle that is all work, and look for creative ways to have margin for fun. Some will refuse to work full-time. Some farms are designing shift work modeled after other industry sectors, to ensure that the workers can watch their children’s hockey games, and have family time beyond the demands of the farm. This approach is working for larger farm corporations in Saskatchewan who are tired of the “oil-patch debate citing labour as a tough issue.” They’ve found that the quality of life argument wins over the high stakes single lifestyle of the oil patch.

Wanting the freedom and independence of farming so they are committed to making it work, but not necessarily in the same way. Many of the millenials will have an off-farm income stream to offset the mortgages, that may be held by Mom and Dad. When they choose to dedicate all their working time to the farm, it may mean a change in lifestyle or not. The young farmers I’ve talked to are entrepreneurs who see a future in agriculture .They have multiple skill sets, and work strategically with new farm business models to create the future they envision. This may mean joining another existing farmer and that business to create a larger dairy farm, with two non-related families on the business partnership. I recently enjoyed the exciting phone call of a young dairy farmer who was exploring a creative, legal alliance with his best friend, another dairy farmer. The families are exploring ways to keep some lifestyle freedom, and have the return on energy and investment of a joint venture.

Wanting to be globally smart. Young farmers like to travel and learn about global agricultural issues, but let’s be realistic. Advocates need to pay attention to the details they are managing in their own farm businesses. These young farmers can’t be off the farm for four days of meetings, so try to think of ways to meet virtually with phones, computers, and pre-meeting power-point presentations. The energy of youth, and management responsibilities need to be considered when agricultural policy leaders expect the same old way of policy planning in person. Women will be involved if they don’t have childcare issues, so webinars are great tool for communication without leaving the farm (see www.farmcentre.com).

Wanting a wide range of experiences. We have two farming friends who scuba dive, which a difficult feat in the flatlands of the prairies. Millenials have lists of what they want to accomplish…because they are used to trying everything they want to. Paint-balling, extreme sports, bungee jumping, travel abroad for a walkabout in Australia or New Zealand are on their lists.

Wanting it done…just good enough. Multi-tasking…listening to their favourite tunes while emailing, and playing a game and doing the business plan. Maybe some of the millenial’s work habits aren’t quite up to your standards. The bins could be cleaner, and the cattle need to be fed more efficiently…but the job is done…well, is it ?
Wanting few hassles…millenials can’t take difficult feedback…any negative comments may be hard to take as these kids are used to success, high achievement, and always getting what they want. Parents may interfere with their performance appraisals if they have some weaknesses that need to be improved .Conflict is a normal part of life, so why do these young people have a hard time processing disagreements or negative feedback. “When I try to be firm with my son, he quickly accuses me of being angry…I am just trying to get his attention with my voice tone, and ensure that he is receiving the message!”

Want to know what’s going on : because successful farmers read. Fast Company is my magazine of choice to get a cultural snapshot of what is happening in our world. Does the ag. media give you a good view of what is happening abroad that is a great model to inspire your entrepreneurship on the farm?

Want to stay wired: Communication with other group like the kids from college and university that were part of the advocacy group, or the social events…keeping in touch by email and phone to network new possibilities. Joining the Canadian Young Farmers’s forum at www.cyff.ca

Learning about the international policy that affects the future, and gleaning new perspectives, and having an opinion that ag. companies will listen to is part of the passion that fuels young farmers to believe there is a future in agriculture.

________________________________________________________________________
Elaine Froese is launching a millennial son this year. She is a catalyst for creative communication and intentional change.

Checked your oil lately?

My car has covered a lot of miles this winter, and I was shocked that my oil was “below add.” I hadn’t been paying attention. A seized engine is not my idea of fun, so I am glad I heeded my hubby’s advice to check the oil more often.

Oil is the lubricant of your car’s engine. Support systems are the lubricant of your well-being when things are rubbing the wrong way, or you’re looking for a new direction in the adventure of life.

As I write this, I am perched near a driving range on the Snake River canyon in the state of Washington. It’s early March, the robins are singing and purple crocuses are bursting forth on the edges of the greening lawn. I’ve been called here to encourage a group of farm families.

Imagine that as you’re a young farm couple knowing how painful it is to wake up and realize that between off-farm jobs and the intensity of marketing grain and running the business, you haven’t checked your oil lately. You have no real close friends, you work hard, and you fear you are on the same path as your parents whose lives have run dry.

Being a self-renewing farmer is really important in the spring when running water causes panic to set in, things need to be done in a timely fashion, and the pressure is on!

Extreme self-care means checking in on what gives you energy and keeps you resilient to all the stress of the season. Support systems of a loving understanding spouse, a caring friend, and the fellowship of the guys at the coffee shop or your care group at church are crucial for thriving.

In the Bible, oil is used for anointing people for special assignments from God in leadership, and it is used for healing.

“Is anyone among you sick? Let him call for the elders of the church, and let them pray over him, anointing him with oil in the name of the Lord.” James 5:14. When we are sick, stressed out or sad about our relationships, we can ask God for help. Our support systems include friends and family who are willing to encourage us socially, emotionally and spiritually. I am curious if you have someone in your life who you can call at 3 in the morning for help and support. I wonder if it has been a long time since you filled up your dry well with the refreshing water of renewal from your faith. Have you made that phone call to the friend that’s been on your mind for weeks?

Promptings to act need to be followed through with action. Lubricating your body, mind and spirit with a strong connected support system will keep your life engine running well.

Rate yourself to see where your support levels are currently at.

____________________________________________________________________________
Elaine Froese is a catalyst for courageous conversation and positive change. She is called to encourage farm families in practical ways as a professional speaker, business coach, and author.

Farm Coach story on Elaine Froese

By Bill Redekop
Winnipeg Free Press
April 30,2006

BOISSEVAIN - Elaine Froese doesn’t look like someone who once had 23 shock therapy sessions for what her doctor called the worst post-partum depression he had ever seen.

Froese is energetic, upbeat, engaging and direct. Her experience is part of the reason. “I don’t want to ever go back there,” she told me.

Froese bills herself as a “farm coach.” Don’t laugh. She gets $3,000 per speaking engagement, and recently returned from a gig in Lewiston, Idaho. She applies her practice across Western Canada, helping farm families untangle emotional issues from the business of running a farm.
Read this article as published in the May 8, 2006 Brandon Sun (pdf format)

And there is often much untangling to be done. So much of farming mixes business and family, with the potential to leave lasting scars.

Froese often deals with farm successions where a son or daughter is poised to take over the farm. The parents want to help him or her get started, but how do they ensure other family members are treated equally, and that everyone retains some link to the land to which they have emotional bonds?

Or she will tackle a case where a farm has been in a family for four generations, but now the son doesn’t know if he wants to take it over. His father has always dreamed he would. Neither of them can talk about it.

“This whole love issue stuff? Love is a part of business,” Froese says.

Or there are sons who took over the farm and now can’t pay the bills, or who want to make a career change, but feel like they’re letting down four generations of family.

“Now do you see how complicated it gets?” she asks.

Many sons, farming alongside their fathers, don’t feel appreciated, she said. “There are sons who have never heard their fathers say ‘I love you, and I’m proud of you, and I think you’re a great manager,’” she said. “We’re still dealing with farmers who are 76-years-old. Our generation is much different.”

Her depression two decades ago helped prepare Froese to help others. “This is my life’s calling,” she says, and, after sitting down with her for a short while, it’s hard to disagree.

A farm coach isn’t something you just one day decide you’re going to be. She obtained her certificate from the Hudson Institute in Santa Barbara, Calif., through an eight-month distance education course, with four on-site learning components. She has several other certificates, like one from an estate planning course.

But she also has hands-on experience from working for 20 years as a mediator between farmers and creditors with the farm debt review board. She is also deacon in a local church and confides that she keeps a prayer list for those she sees struggling.

Last year, Froese self-published an advice book for farm families called Planting the Seed of Hope, which sells for $20, including taxes. She has sold close to 2,000 copies already.

“We, as farmers, are a minority culture. Where do you go to find people who understand what you’re going through?”

She generally meets with family members separately or in smaller groups before bringing the family together.

“I say, ‘Tell me about the bull in the middle of the room that no one wants to talk about.’ “

She is, like so many rural people, more computer savvy than most city people. She has used a technician based in India to do things like install new database programs and rearrange her computer desktop. The Internet brings the world to her farm door at the end of a dusty, gravel road. Her website is elainefroese.com.

Froese also helps farm couples prepare mentally, physically and emotionally for retirement, and even helps clients find mates. “In rural areas, how do you meet people?”

Froese is spoken for, however. She was raised on a cattle ranch in Dugald, and travelled to Boissevain to work as a home economist. She picked out the carpet that’s still on the floor of the house she now lives in, without knowing she would one day marry the customer’s son, Wes Froese.

Elaine Froese also gives a handful of speeches for charities and church groups each year, setting aside her regular speaking fees.

______________________________________________________________________________

Read this article as published in the May 8, 2006 Brandon Sun (pdf format)