When push comes to shove at 60

I met a farmer at Ag Days who was having trouble with a certain engine. He said after months of frustration it was great to meet a guy at a display who solved his problem in 2 minutes. It turned out that the external source of fuel, as was suspected, was not the problem, it was internal ... valves needed to be adjusted.

A lot of farm families wish their estate concerns were as easy to fix as engines, but transferring the farm business is a time for tough decisions. There are internal issues (the people problems) and external factors (viability of the farm business). If you’re in your 60s, you’ve now reached an urgent stage for planning. Refusing to make any decisions is a decision, as you may be feeling “push is starting to feel like shove!”

Why do families feel the shove?

We don’t know who or where to go to for help. Expert advice for converting your assets into future income needs is only a phone call away. Choosing advisors takes some careful research. Talk with your team of farm business professionals and trusted family or friends for referrals. In Manitoba we have a great team of extension staff at your local ag office (www.gov.mb.ca/agriculture/homeec/index.html).
Avoidance. At 60 you think you’re immortal and indispensable? Avoiding thinking about making plans for the future is like sticking your head in the haystack. How healthy are you, Dad? Can we talk about labor issues, too? Living wills and health issues need to be discussed.
The problem is too complicated. You can only eat an elephant one bite at a time. Start by listing the 10 most important things to you in your life. Goals will energize you and give you purpose and meaning for your life. Talk to financial professionals about your investments, NISA, minimizing tax and so on. This can be done in stages, but the important thing is to start your plan. Have deadlines on your goals.
Parents are too stressed out. At 60 you may be caring for an aging parent or just plain tired of the stress of keeping the farm afloat. Manage your stress by making plans for your family’s future. It may seem a hard pill to swallow, but the estate doctor recommends treatment before you expire.
Dad is a control freak! If Dad’s vague and can’t make up his mind about farm transfer plans, he’s trying to control the behavior of the farm children. Fear of losing control is a big issue even when there are many workable ideas that let Dad make the transition gradually. Remember that succession doesn't have to mean severance.
“Hanging on.” Society has marked age 65 as the magic age of retirement, even when some active healthy folk are still going strong farming in their 70s. Not planning to retire is a reason to avoid estate planning, unless you have exciting goals to work at. “People who aren’t good at retirement planning aren’t good at estate planning either,” says Dr. Val Farmer.
Families are afraid that succession discussion would create conflicts. “Harmony now, disharmony later” is a motto some families adopt, which means the family avoids asking each child what they want and lets the will solve the issue. (Lots of conflict is likely then!) Dr. Farmer recommends: “Have an open reading of the will with everyone present. Be prepared to explain the plan and be open to suggestions. If they hear it from their parents’ lips, children will know there was no undue influence.”
Deciding what’s fair is a tough call. The farm is a business, not a legacy. Fair does not mean equal if you’ve made a decision to leave the core assets of the farm intact. “Assets are not love. Honor commitments. It’s a tragedy when the farm is split up to be ‘equal’,” says Dr. Farmer. Chartered accountant Alyson Kennedy also advises parents set a price for selling to children and stick to it. “Once the number is on the table you can’t go back and change it. People make plans based on the number given.”

Gentle pushes for transition:

Better communication. Eighty percent of effective communication is attentive listening. Can you clearly describe what you need? Be open about your frustrations, even if it causes some discomfort. “It’s better to push the dialogue so that important issues are talked about. Use courtesy and tact to ease defensiveness,” says Dr. Farmer.
Take a break. Let the younger generation prove their worth to gain trust and confidence. If the farm is well looked after while you’re on holidays or at meetings, you can learn to hand things over gradually. Developing interests away from the farm will make retirement more appealing.
Have family meetings. Practise an open democratic style of decision making. Agree to disagree if some issues are seen from different angles. Your farming children may have goals different from yours.
Let your children shine with their specialty. One couple was happy for the computer and marketing skills their kids brought to the operation. People need to feel appreciated for their contributions. Farm viability, retirement needs and goals, fairness to children, lifestyle dreams ... there’s a list of things to “fix” in your estate plan. Take a good look at your internal pressures and problems. I don’t like getting pushed around, I’d rather make my own way graciously with lots of time to make plans. Go for it!

Elaine Froese encourages farm families with her speaking and writing business, based on her farm near Boissevain, Man. Contact her toll-free at 1-866-534-6846 or by e-mail elaine@elainefroese.com

Note: You are welcome to reprint or repost any articles on this website with the understanding that

Elaine Froese retains full copyright
Contact information appears at the end of the article.
You notify Elaine Froese and send a copy of the publication or notice of the link in which the article appears.

Return to Elaine Froese's Articles page